Dilemma

Someone tell me why it is that I well up with tears when being disagreed with, or being misunderstood. I was apparently scheduled to work today, a fact I did not discover until I was in my car on the way to Brainerd on a birthday shopping trip (thanks Mum!). I was called by the manager of the store I’m meant to be at today, whom I have yet to meet but she sounds amazingly kind and understanding. It wasn’t with her I got emotional. It was my boss. She has a very “it’s your problem, deal with it” kinda attitude when you have to call in, or when you realize you’ve apparently forgotten a shift. Despite the fact that all the schedules I had seen – on the bulletin board at Nisswa and in my date book – clearly stated I had the 3rd off.

Apparently we (my boss and I) had discussed the 3rd and I’d said I was available to work. I don’t remember this particular occasion, but I’m willing to believe I just forgot about it, since my memory isn’t always the best (despite the fact that I love Sudoku, can memorise lines for plays, and know almost everything about almost every Simpsons episode from seasons 1 – 10). My conversation with my boss went like this:

Me: I can work it, I’ve organized daycare for Adelaide with my in-laws, but yeah, I’m sorry there must have been a misunderstanding or something.
Boss: Well we did discuss it, when I called to organize you working at Crosslake, I specifically said the 3rd and the 5th and you said okay.
Me: I’m sure I did, I’m sorry that I forgot.
Boss: Because I remember discussing it.
Me: … yeah I’m sure we did, I probably just misunderstood or forgot. I’m sorry. I’ve organized daycare and I can get there soon.
Boss: That’s okay, just get there when you can.

Maybe I’m being too bratty, but that seemed a bit unnecessary. Yeah, we discussed it, you said we did, and then you keep harping on it even though I’ve apologized and said I can come into work. DESPITE the fact that I have plans, have to organize daycare, and haven’t washed my work clothes yet because I didn’t think I was working again until Saturday.

Argh.

I guess the real issue isn’t whether I forgot it, or whether my boss was being unnecessarily mean. The issue here is, why the hell did I well up with tears after hanging up the phone from this conversation? Despite the matter of what she was saying, she wasn’t yelling or being rude, not really. I understand her point of view, in that she was under the assumption she had all shifts covered, only to discover one employee had forgotten or failed to notice it. So I can see why she would have been annoyed. But I got more upset about it than I really should have. I even gave myself a stern talking-to on the way back home: “It’s only work, there’s no need to get upset. Stop with the upset already.” But I still almost actually cried. If it weren’t for the tall iced latte, and the full-blast singing-along to the theme songs of Excel Saga and Chrno Crusade in the car, I probably would have.

Well, I guess I’m posting this for some suggestions. I’m not big on confrontation, in fact I avoid it where at all possible. I’d rather “suffer” myself than confront someone about anything. But when it happens, I really need to learn to deal with it properly and maturely. I tried distraction, and that seemed to work. But I know I won’t always be able to distract myself, and I don’t want to ever break down in tears over something someone has said to me at work, or in any aspect. Any suggestions on how I can get over this whole thing?