Hooray for band-wagons

Yes, I know. I've jumped on the Blogger band-wagon. Quite comfy actually, someone's thought to provide cushions - and is that a minibar I see?! Hot damn, I'm in good company.

So why am I starting this blog? As some of my long-standing valued readers may realise, I was quite a journaller (journalist? journalista?) back in the day. I have a box filled to the brim with old notebooks and exercise books that are full of my high-schoolish proses and musings. Mostly about boys. "OMG I'm totally in love with Scott/Duane/Ashley/Ben/Josh/Trevor/Ben/Josh/no, definitely Ben/Paul/Nathen." Yeah. You get the picture. Ahh, for the days of my youth. And I've had other blogs over the Intarwebz in the past, usually more of a "this is what I did today OH BOY IT'S GREAT FUN" variety. I've also been into musing on a spiritual level as well, having prayer journals in which I would write out my prayers and thoughts and worries and bring them to God, and sometimes I would write poems and songs.

My penchant for journalling and blogging seems to have lagged of late, mostly (I'd say) because I guess I lost my purpose or aim in exactly what I was doing. I remember first setting up an internet blog when I came to the States back in 2004, so that my family and friends could keep up with how my trip was going, but when I got back it kinda fizzled and became more about the lead-up to our wedding, and how much of a jerkwad my old boss was (he was an interesting one... he had some major anger management issues). Then over the past year, I've been somewhat preoccupied with the whole gestating, giving birth and being a mother thing. It's only taken over almost my entire life, so you can see how I may not have had much time for blogging anymore.

So why start one up now? Especially when I have a Totsite for my daughter, where I can update everyone on her progress, which is pretty much what is overtaking my life (see last sentence of above paragraph). Well, firstly, there's the whole band-wagon thing (did I mention the minibar? - mmm, mojitos...) and secondly, well, I have a lot to say I suppose. Some people here in the States probably don't realise it, and some people back home in Australia probably don't realise it either. I guess life is a lot different to how I pictured it, and seemingly I have adapted to fit into this new rollercoaster of a life. So I'd guess most of you don't really know much about how I think these days. But don't feel too bad, it isn't your fault. Adapting to my new life has seen me become a lot more introverted, maybe even a little fearful? No, that's not the right word. I guess, less trusting? No, wait. Argh. I suck at teh rytingz. I guess I mean, I'm not as willing to be open to anyone I meet anymore. I know this really is something I need to work on, and maybe something I need to trust God more for (more about That Guy in another entry), but the simple fact of the matter is, that's how I am these days. Or at least, for the time being. We'll see what the future holds.

I got lost... what was I saying? Oh yes. Why I'm starting a new blog. Well, I've realised recently that I've been getting more and more nostalgic when I think about Australia, and the family and friends I have back there (hence the url address of my site, stupidpacific.blogger.com - as in, "stupid Pacific Ocean, get outta my way"... get it? Yes? No? Okay). This could be because my visa is due to expire within the next two months - yeah, tell me about it! Two years has passed like a freight train. I'm in the process of adjusting my status - in fact, I'll hopefully be sending out the application on Friday. Let's just hope those lovely chaps at Immigration Services get to it and send me my receipt notice before July 23rd, hey? Maybe I should start some kind of a countdown on this page. Wonder how I can set that up? I shall have to explore this whole Blogger thing over the next couple of days. Anyway.

And as much as I love the guy, I don't want to get too nostalgic and homesick around Aaron. It's not that he wouldn't understand, or that he would resent it. I do have moments where I'm feeling sad or whatever, and I just have to say that I'm homesick and he's fantastic about it. But I don't want to overwhelm him. It's not his fault that I'm 15,000kms from my home. We love each other, and are in this whole marriage thing for the long haul, and we both knew that being married would include some incredible sacrifices for the both of us, more so than couples who are both from the same country. And more so for me, since it was more 'logical' for us to live here. I knew that, and I made the decision to move here. And I don't think it's fair for me to continually go on at him about how much I miss Australia, and how awesome it would be if we could move back, and why can't we move back right now, and so on. The truth is, I think about home a lot, and they're my thoughts. I can be pretty flighty and confusing in my thoughts, so to verbalise them can be pretty overwhelming for him, I'm sure.

This has turned out to be a much longer first post than I originally intended. Thus proving beyond any doubt that I have a lot to say. Also, if I got too emotional and whatever with the whole Australia thing just now, for anyone back home reading this, I'm sorry if I made you sad reading it. I do like it here, and I'm glad I'm here, but you know how it goes... be it ever so humble, there's no place like home, etc.

Okay well I think I'm heading off now! That's enough of an essay to get you all started. I will most likely be adding to this a lot over the next few days. And, as most of my long-time valued readers will know, I can sometimes go for long periods of time between entries... I'm like that. Easily distracted by new things and-- ooh look! That dog has a puffy tail!!