To vax or not to vax?

This was the question weighing heavily on my mind recently: whether or not to vaccinate my baby. Despite parenting being such an intimate and personal journey, there are so many people who think their opinion is number one, that if you don't do this, this and this then you're a bad parent, that their way of parenting is perfect for everyone. This is the set that I've heard being referred to as being "mommier-than-thou".

If you ask me, parenting is tough enough without having the extra external pressures. I experienced this even before Laidey was born. I commented to a coworker that we were not planning to push the whole Santa Claus thing for Christmas (that we would instead be focusing on the giving, the togetherness, and the true reason for the holiday). Well. You'd think I'd walked up to this lady and spit in her face. "MY kids believed in Santa, and THEY turned out JUST FINE!" And she literally ignored me for the rest of the afternoon. I couldn't believe it. Okay, so the whole Santa deal worked for your family. That's great, it really is. But that's your family. Every family has their own decisions to make, and just because our decision is different to yours, doesn't mean either one is 100% perfect or correct.

But easily the largest decision we've had to make is regarding vaccination. There seems to be a real fierce divide between camps on this issue. It's either "vaccinations give your children autism!" or "not vaccinating makes you a bad parent and citizen!" Sheesh. Firstly, neither of those extreme views are entirely correct. Secondly, refer to what I said about each family making their own decisions.

For our family, it was tough. I have friends and family who have decided to not vaccinate, for various reasons that I completely agree with and for which they have my utmost support. And I have other friends and family who did decide to vaccinate, and that's great too. Like many things in life, I don't think this is a black-or-white issue. There are certain circumstances in which, at least for some vaccines, the shots should not be given (certain allergies to some of the proteins or preservatives), so to claim not vaccinating is bad parenting is judgmental, wrong and careless at best.

My main concerns were not the shots themselves, or the pain that would accompany the administration of these shots. I was more concerned about a) the necessity of each shot; and b) the ingredients of those shots. I spoke about this with our paediatrician, who was very kind and helpful. You can get a lot of rude and dismissive physicians who don't even take the time to listen to you or answer your questions in depth, so it was really good that Laidey's doctor took the time to listen to my concerns, and gave me her opinion. Now, to her credit, she didn't just go with her "official professional opinion". She said that, as a doctor, she really wasn't allowed to suggest a modified or delayed schedule, but she gave me examples of what other patients had done, and told me which diseases are prevented by which vaccines.

We didn't go into any of the ingredient stuff, but that's another thing to look out for. Ingredients like formaldehyde, thimerasol and mercury still exist in certain shots, and I know that some parents are concerned about the safety of their use. And like I said above, some shots contain certain proteins or preservatives that make them unusable to people with certain allergies (I can't remember which shot it is, but I'm pretty sure one of them contains egg white, so if you were allergic to eggs, you shouldn't have that shot).

As Laidey's two-month check-up approached, I started getting panicky because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew I didn't want to get the shots done "just because the doctor says so", but I wanted to be informed for myself. I did a bunch of research (note to everyone: be careful when using the Internet as a research tool. Every psycho maniac and his dog has access to the Net these days, and there are some pretty loopy web pages out there!) and made sure I knew what was going on. That's the important thing. Knowledge is power and all that. If you are just blindly going along with whatever some guy in authority says, there's a very real danger for exploitation, and keeping the masses uninformed. Do whatever you do with all your heart, and make sure you know WHY you're doing it. If "because that guy said I should" is your reason, it's the wrong reason.

Anyway, then it was just a matter of deciding whether the benefits outweighed the risks. Do the slim chances of autism, and severe side effects outweigh the benefits of not seeing my child contract diptheria/tetanus/pertussis/meningitis/polio?

In the end... we decided to get her vaccinated. She's not allergic to anything, and she doesn't have any issues that would mean we couldn't vaccinate. There are risks involved with every decision you make, but when it comes to such terrible diseases that can reach epidemic proportions so quickly, I'd rather know she was protected.

I'm not pushing an agenda here, by the way. You may have noticed I've tried to be extremely diplomatic, because I know at least one of my readers is very adamant about her position on the topic (you know who you are :P). For all you parents out there who are reading this: I respect your decision. It's a tough one to make, and there are so many tough choices to make for your child. You have to wonder whether what *you* are deciding is something your *child* would have decided or would have liked. It can be tough to be an advocate to someone who doesn't walk or talk.